Dear Charlee,
When we chose your name, I knew I wanted your Gramma's name to be part of it, while still allowing your name to be uniquely yours. And I love the way we managed to get her whole name, spelled exactly as she wrote it, to live inside yours.
I got your health card in the mail this week, and it felt like a big milestone... something that made everything about you official. And when I opened it, my eyes immediately saw LEE ANN first. Once I saw it, I couldn't unsee it. It was the first time I had seen your name spelled out in official documents. And there she was. Right there in you. A reminder that she is forever part of your story.
You and Gramma also share a birth month, which feels very special. Only 15 days apart. I originally thought it would be really neat if you shared the same birthday as her, and it would have been (if it happened). But I'm glad we have two separate days to celebrate. Yours just for you, and hers as a day we will continue to use to honour her.
I wish you could sit on her lap, hear her laugh, or feel her arms around you. I wish you could be rocked to sleep by her, with her Mama bounce. I wish she could sing songs to you, and tuck you in at night. I know she wishes for it too.
Sometimes I feel scared, worrying that you won't know just how important Gramma is to me. I spoke to my therapist about this worry, and she gently reminded me that you carry Gramma's name. You'll grow up with it. You'll ask about it. You'll be proud of it. And every time I share a story about her, every time I carry on a tradition, every time I speak about her with a heart full of love, you'll come to know and love her too.
I love that saying your name means I'm also speaking hers. It's hard and it's beautiful. And it's love... yours, mine, and hers.
Love always,
Mom
I love this 💕
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