Grief Sucks. There's no other way to say it. It's heavy, it's lonely, and it's painful.
When my mom died, I was grieving deeply and I pretty much thought about my mom and her death every second of every day. But somehow, in the middle of all that pain, I found something unexpected... connection.
Two years ago, I joined a grief group for young women. We were all between the ages of 25 and 31, we had all lost our 50-something-year-old moms to cancer, and we were all looking for someone who “got it”. When we had our first call, we were all nervous because we were strangers and we were also having a tough time in life. But we connected pretty instantly and then met weekly on an unfacilitated WhatsApp video call. We talked about our loss, we cried, we listened, and we sat in silence when the words didn't come. Over time, our relationship grew. The girls became more than just "my grief group" - now we are friends and we are a part of each other's stories.
We've seen each other through so many chapters since we first met - children's birthdays, engagements, pregnancies, new jobs, and new beginnings, and we have supported each other through the grief that accompanies even the good days.
A couple days ago, the girls came over and met my daughter for the first time, and it felt so right. We didn't specifically talk about our grief on that day, or about the fact that it's hard to become a mom and to mother a child without our moms, but I'm sure we all felt it.
Our group still meets weekly, and it continues to be a grounding, healing part of my life. Grief still sucks... but having people who truly get it makes it a little more bearable.
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