150 Posts Later

When I published my first post on Heartfelt Healing, I never imagined I'd someday be writing number 150.

Mom has been gone for 4.5 years now, and this blog has existed for 2.5 of those years. Looking back through 150 posts feels surreal. Some were written through tears. Some came from moments of clarity. Some were simply thoughts I couldn't carry around in my head anymore.

People sometimes ask me if writing about grief all the time keeps me stuck in it. But the answer is actually the opposite. This blog has become the place for my grief.

That doesn't mean I bottle it up until I sit down at my computer. It's the opposite. Grief still surprises me... it still sneaks into a drive home, a song on the radio, or a random Tuesday afternoon. But over time, I've learned that I don't have to give every wave of grief my full attention the moment it arrives. Sometimes I can acknowledge it and gently tell it, "Not right now." And I think I know I can do that because I know I'll come here.

When I write, I let myself feel everything. I don't censor it. I just let the words and feelings come. And somehow, once they're here, they don't weigh on me in quite the same way anymore.

I've often wondered why publishing these thoughts helps me more than simply writing them in a journal tucked away on my desk, and I don't know if I have the perfect answer. Maybe it's because grief is such a lonely experience, and putting these words out into the world reminds me I'm not carrying it completely alone. Maybe it's because once the thoughts leave my head and become words on a page, they stop endlessly circling inside me. Or maybe it's because if something I've lived through helps even one other person feel understood, then some small piece of my pain has created connection instead of isolation.

Whatever the reason, writing here continues to be one of the healthiest parts of my grief journey, so thank you for being here! Whether you've read one post or all 150, whether you found this blog because you're grieving too or because you love someone who is, thank you.

One more thing...

A few people have asked if there's a way to read Heartfelt Healing from the very beginning instead of from this point backwards, and I'm happy to say there is now! I've added a new page that lists every post in chronological order, starting with the very first one. The page is called "Read from the beginning" and is linked here.

Here's to 150 posts... and to continuing to write whenever my heart needs somewhere to place its grief.

P.S.  If my words resonate with you, I'd love for you to follow along. You can subscribe to my blog from the home page of my blog.