Life is hard... but I can do hard things

If someone asked me to summarize what I've learned from a year in grief counselling in only one sentence, it would be that "life is hard... but I can do hard things". 

I was 29 years old when my mom died, and although 'adulthood' technically begins at 18, it feels like I had only really just begun. I moved out and got married 20 months and 8 months before my mom died, I've had a few jobs but I had only just begun my career, and I have a fur-baby but my dream of having a baby myself is still unfulfilled. Adulthood is scary, and facing it without my Mom is hard.

My mom's comforting mantra "we'll get through this, too" echoed through numerous trials throughout my life - the 28 surgeries I had in 27 years, the deaths of my grandparents, the house fire my family faced that left us displaced for 15 months, my dad's heart health scare, a houseboat fire where nothing was left but soot, and many other ups and downs we faced. Mom modelled positivity and resilience through it all, which helped me and our family keep our heads held high and focused on the light at the end of the tunnel.

But after my mom died, I could not embrace the "we'll get through this, too" sentiment. The most essential part of the 'WE' in that statement was Mom. How would I possibly get through "this," as in, my mom's death and the rest of my life, without my mom?

It took a really long time for me to shift my thinking and remember that my relationship with my mom and everything she taught me doesn't go away just because she died. I look like my mom, I think like my mom, I act like my mom... pieces of Mom live inside of me, and we will always be a we. 

I appreciate that my counsellor warmly validates and reminds me essentially every time we meet that life is hard, but that I can do hard things.