I go to counselling!

I’m loud and proud of getting professional mental health support because mental health is health, and needs to be acknowledged as such.

We wouldn’t think twice about going to our family doctor with an infection that needs antibiotics, or to the ER when we break a bone and need a cast… so why do we hesitate so much when we need support with our mental health?

There is stigma around receiving professional mental health support, and I am positive that for as long as stigma continues to persist, the inaccessibility of counselling will also persist. So here I am, shouting from the rooftops (OK fine… writing quietly in my blog) about the fact that I go to counselling. 

I wasn’t always this way, by the way. I didn’t tell people I was seeking help for a long time. Additionally, the first counsellor I went to, I didn't connect with. I tried again, and it still wasn’t that helpful. But then I found someone who I connected with, and she is awesome! Seeking support also wasn’t originally my idea… it was my mom’s. My amazing Mom, after just receiving her terminal diagnosis, suggested and encouraged that I find someone to talk to. Shocker, right? Mom knowing what would be good for me before I did? I love you, Mom. I wish I could thank you for real… for giving me the encouragement I needed to take this step - it has been so helpful. Counselling is a safe place to process my deepest and toughest thoughts with someone who is warm and demonstrates unconditional positive regard (support and acceptance with no judgment).

If you’ve ever considered counselling, but are hesitating, I hope sharing my story helps you to take a leap. It might take awhile to find the right counsellor who you connect with to feel seen and heard, and that is ok. And if you’ve tried counselling, and didn’t feel like it was helpful… I encourage you to try again before giving up!

Today’s excerpt from “Grief One Day at a Time” by Dr. Alan Wolfelt fits well for this post.

“To share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable; to make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength.” - Criss Jami

In the aftermath of our loss, others may tell us to “be strong.” There’s no denying that it takes strength and fortitude to embrace and survive our grief.

But the reverse is even truer. We must allow ourselves to be weak.

Grief shatters us. It tears us apart. We are tender and weak. And when we are genuine with others, expressing our most painful thoughts and feelings, we allow them to see our weakness. We expose our vulnerable insides. The paradox is that it takes courage to let others see our weakness. 

From our weakness and vulnerability grow our healing. They are fertile soil.

I will allow myself to be weak and vulnerable. In grief, weakness is strength, and vulnerability is powerful."

Taking the step to find a counsellor made me feel vulnerable, and it was healing. Sharing my thoughts, feelings, and experiences with my counsellor makes me feel vulnerable, and it is healing. Sharing my raw stories about my grief journey in this blog make me feel vulnerable, and it is healing. 

Weakness is strength, and vulnerability is powerful.