Volunteering At Grief Camp

I recently returned home from a week at Camp Maple Leaf - a registered charitable sleepover camp that was established in 1955 and has welcomed thousands of children over the past (almost) 70 years. Each session at Camp Maple Leaf is designed as a unique program dedicated to children or families who share a specific life challenge.

I had the honour and privilege of volunteering at Camp Maple Leaf several years ago, and I had always hoped for an opportunity to return again. Earlier this year, I remembered that Camp Maple Leaf offered "Camp Skein", a session dedicated to children aged 7-16 who are grieving the death of a parent or sibling. The goal of the week is to support the campers to gain strength from each other, as they realize the power they have within themselves. I truly believe in the lasting positive impact that sleepover camp can have on the lives of children, and the significant difference it can make to children growing up with unique life challenges. As an individual who has experienced camp for children living with a facial difference (as a camper, volunteer and staff counsellor), I know the power of camp first-hand. I truly believe the "friendships that follow you home" philosophy is second-to-none. With my belief in the power of camp, together with my recent experience of losing my mom, I decided that this summer was the time to make my way back to Camp Maple Leaf to volunteer, and hopefully contribute to the special place where kids have fun but also gain resiliency, confidence, and friendship.

The decision to volunteer with children who are grieving wasn't one I made lightly. I knew that it would be mentally and emotionally challenging, even if I hadn't recently lost my mom, but especially so because I had. However, I've done a lot of healing in the (almost) 2.5 years since my mom died. Here are 3 thoughts I used to guide my decision to volunteer:

1. I've learned a lot about grief and the grieving experience. The biggest thing I've learned is that grief can't be fixed, and one of the greatest gifts you can give someone who is grieving is the chance to tell their story.

2. I am strong, and I can do hard things. Although I was nervous to bear witness to children telling their really hard stories, I felt confident in my internal strength and ability to sit in sadness with anyone who wants to share their story with me.

3. I've been searching for meaning since my mom died and I believed that supporting kids in this way could be part of that journey for me. I was pretty confident that it could allow me to connect with and support other grievers, and that I would experience healing myself through helping.

The week at camp really was as hard as I thought it might be. I heard many very tragic stories, I witnessed many children's tears, and I thought of my own mom and her journey with cancer and through death many times throughout the week. But it was also way more rewarding and meaningful than I ever could have imagined. It's been a long time since I've witnessed the magic of camp, but I was reminded of it again this week, in the context of a new life challenge. I heard kids say "I found my people!" when referring to their new friends who "got it" when talking about their parents who had died. I can't count the number of times I heard "me too" throughout the week. I got the opportunity to offer hugs to kids who needed to be hugged. I witnessed kids support other kids through their challenging moments throughout the week. I heard pleas of "can we please continue talking about this tomorrow night? I don't have anyone at home to talk about this stuff with." The list of rewarding moments goes on and on and on. 

One of the activities that was facilitated by an on-site grief counsellor was a memorial rock ceremony. Throughout the week, the children had time to look for a special rock that they would later paint in memory of their loved one. Then, at the end of camp, the campers would have the opportunity to place their painted memory rock under the "Skein Tree," knowing that it would have a place there on Jacob's Island forever and always. They also had the opportunity to share something with the group about their loved one. The whole ceremony was beautiful. Someone was playing acoustic guitar, all the kids were blowing bubbles, and each camper was able to participate, if they wanted. Camp counsellors who were also grieving had the opportunity to participate, so I did. A rock in memory of my mom will live under the Skein Tree forever (pictured below).

I am incredibly grateful to have had the opportunity to volunteer with Camp Skein at Camp Maple Leaf, and I hope to be able to attend again in the future. I'm grateful for my counsellor who helped me to prepare for the challenging week, and I am grateful for the on-site grief counsellors who facilitated the grief sessions, and who supported the campers and staff throughout the week. I am incredibly grateful for the campers who shared their stories with me, and for Camp Maple Leaf and all of its funders for offering all of the camp programs for kids with unique life challenges.

To end this blog post, I want to share "Lessons From the Skein of Geese" (from Camp Maple Leaf's website):

• When geese fly together, each goose provides additional lift and reduces air resistance for their goose flying behind it.
• When a goose flies in the V-formation, it requires less effort and energy using the lifting power of its friends.
• Geese take turns being the leader as the front position expends the most energy.
• Geese honk at each other to communicate during their long flight.
• When one goose drops out of formation, two other geese will follow and protect the down goose until it is able to fly again.

*NOTE: As mentioned, Camp Maple Leaf is a registered charity (Charitable # 870125150RR0001) and welcomes donations to support providing free camp for kids living with a unique life challenge. If you would like to donate, click here - thank you in advance!