I lost my mom just over 2 years ago, and navigating the depths of grief has been nothing short of challenging. The tears come frequently, the longing and yearning for Mom's presence linger as a persistent ache in my heart, and questions about the circumstances of her death and the greater meaning of it all weigh heavily on my mind. Though managing these deep thoughts and feelings is an ongoing struggle, I've come to realize something... my capacity to grieve deeply is inseparable from my capacity to love deeply. The intensity of my grief directly reflects the depth of my love for my mom.
Ever since my mom died, I've been really afraid of death and loss. Losing my mom brought me to the lowest of possible lows, and I'm scared to go back there. But... what I've learned is that despite the pain it brings, I wouldn't trade the depth of my love for anything in the world. As the saying goes, I believe it is "better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." Despite my fear of grief and the risk of pain, I wouldn't want to miss out on the power of love.
I think deeply, I feel deeply, I care
deeply, I share deeply, I attach deeply, and I love deeply. Sometimes
these traits feel like weaknesses, but they are the essence of who I am.
I've learned to be proud of these traits because they truly represent
my ability to live fully - the highs of love and connection, and the
lows of loss and grief.
So, as I navigate this journey of grief, I do so with a sense of gratitude for the love that sustains me and the memories that bring me comfort. I appreciate that every tear I shed for my mom proves how deeply I love my mom.
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