Why I say Mom "died" instead of "passed away"

Language is a powerful tool, and I feel like the words we choose can influence how we process and communicate our experiences. When I write in my blog, I almost always write mom "died" instead of "passed away", and here's why:

Embracing Reality: For me, saying “my mom died” is about facing the hard truth that she is no longer here. It’s an unambiguous statement that reflects the gravity of what happened. When I say “died,” there’s no room for euphemisms or softening the blow. My mom was an amazing, wonderful person, and her death was a significant event that deserves to be acknowledged with the weight it carries.

Personal Authenticity: Grief is complex, and everyone navigates it differently. For some, saying “passed away” might feel more comforting or appropriate, and that’s totally okay. For me, however, saying “died” helps me process my grief more directly. It serves as a reminder that it’s okay to feel the full spectrum of emotions that come with loss – the sadness, the confusion, and the anger. I’ve found that being honest with myself and others about my feelings is important for my healing.

Encouraging Open Conversation: Another reason I choose to say “died” is to encourage more open and honest conversations about death. I feel like society chooses "passed away" and "gone to a better place", and while these phrases can be comforting to some, they can also create a barrier to genuinely confronting and discussing the reality of death. I hope that I am contributing to making death be something we can talk about more openly and honestly.

Ultimately, the words we choose to describe our experiences with death and loss are deeply personal. There’s no right or wrong way to talk about it – only what feels right for each of us. For me, saying “my mom died” helps me face reality, and stay true to my emotions. 

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