""Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final." - Rainer Maria Rilke
No feeling is final, but what we feel now in this time of our grief seems like it is. Our sadness, despair, and other dark emotions threaten to go on and on and on. We fear the unrelenting pain will never end.
Yet the pain will soften. If we mourn honestly and fully, over time our hurt will ease. It will never disappear completely but instead become a thread in the fabric of our loving, meaningful, continued living." - Dr. Alan Wolfelt, Grief One Day at A Time
Death is something I've grown to hate with a passion. It takes away the people we love, leaving feelings of emptiness behind. The 'terror' it brings is overwhelming.
When my mom died, it completely turned my world upside down. The pain and emptiness from her loss are still raw, and every day is a struggle. Just as I started to find my footing in my healing journey, new pain emerges, threatening to overwhelm me once more. New grief, piled on top of old grief, makes me wonder if I will ever fully heal, and is almost too much to bear.
But if my mom's death has taught me anything, it is that each new 'terror' I face will eventually become more bearable. Having survived the darkest days after her death, I can trust myself to find my way through this new pain. While the grief feels endless now, I hold onto the belief that, with mourning and time, it will soften.
I
appreciate Dr. Wolfelt's collection of quotes, and how he relates each of them to our grief journeys. I hate death and loss, and the dark emotions that threaten to go on and on. But I know that I am strong, I am
resilient, and I will find meaning and joy again. I will honour my grief,
for it is a testament to my love. And I will keep going - knowing that
no feeling is final, that my hope and brightness is inside of me somewhere, and that
beauty will emerge once again.
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