Finding Comfort in the Storm: My Grief Coping Mechanisms

Something I've learned from my grief journey is that grief is incredibly unpredictable, difficult to describe, and deeply impactful. No two journeys are the same, even when there's a shared loss. But there's one thing all grievers have in common, whether you're grieving the death of a person, the ending of a relationship, the loss of a job or career, loss of health, death of a pet, etc.... and that is the need to find ways to cope, heal, and continue living.

In this post, I want to share some coping mechanisms that have helped me navigate the overwhelming emotions that come with grief. They're obviously not one-size-fits-all solutions, but they've brought me comfort and might do the same for you as you walk your own path toward healing.

  • Long, hot showers or warm baths. For me, the warmth and gentle pressure of the water create a sanctuary where I can just be with my emotions, letting them wash over me in a safe place.
  • Listening to loud music in the car and singing/screaming along. My go-to is Linkin Park, especially songs like "Heavy", "Numb", "In The End", "Breaking the Habit" and "New Divide." The intense lyrics and rhythms make them perfect for releasing pent-up emotions.
  • Hitting 100 golf balls. As I drive each ball, I focus on releasing the sadness, anger, and frustration that have built up inside me. It's cathartic, and the physical exhaustion often leads to a good night's sleep.
  • Taking my dog for a walk: The excitement on my dog's face every time I say the "W" word already cheers me up, if I'm feeling down. But the physical exercise, and the time alone with my thoughts is often helpful.
  • Listening to my grief playlist. Certain songs resonate deeply, helping me connect with and process my emotions in a way that feels both raw and healing.
  • Punching pillows. After discovering that punching a wall is not a good idea (0/5 stars, do not recommend), I now reach for a pillow when I need to physically express my anger. It’s a much safer outlet.
  • Talking to a friend. When I have someone emotionally available to listen, sharing my thoughts with them can be incredibly comforting. It reminds me that I’m not alone in this.
  • Listening to something familiar/calming as I fall asleep. This has been important because I tend to think a lot as I’m falling asleep, and the thinking keeps me from falling asleep and getting a good night’s rest.
  • Journalling/Blogging. As an external processor, getting my thoughts out on "paper" or in a blog helps me make sense of them. It’s a form of self-reflection that brings clarity for me.
  • Talking to my counsellor. Having a neutral space to unload my thoughts and gain perspective is invaluable. My counsellor helps me navigate the depths of my grief with compassion and understanding.
  • Kayaking. I particularly love kayaking as the sun is setting, with music in my ears. I get lost in the rhythm of paddling and my thoughts. Getting exercise while being immersed in nature feels like mindfulness at its core.
  • Taking breaks from grief. Allowing myself moments of joy and happiness - whether it’s laughing with friends, playing sports, or just having fun - gives me a temporary reprieve from the intensity of grief. It’s about finding balance between fully feeling my emotions and giving myself a break when I need it.

Do you have coping mechanisms for your big emotions? I'd love to hear about them in the comments.

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