Today is the third Tuesday of November, marking National Grief and Bereavement Day in Canada. The theme for 2024, “Remember, Reflect, Connect,” feels just right. Grief is universal, yet so many of us experience it alone, feeling that our grief is invisible to those around us. Friends in my grief group often say it feels like we should wear “My Mom Died” written across our foreheads because our losses have impacted us so deeply, but the world doesn’t seem to see or acknowledge it. Today, I want to share what these words - Remember, Reflect, Connect - mean to me, in the hopes they resonate with others navigating loss.
Remember
Grief is a natural response to losing someone we love, but society often leaves us to carry it alone. A recent survey by the Canadian Grief Alliance (2023) found that 53% of Canadians feel their grief is unrecognized. For me, remembering my mom means holding onto the moments we had together and being able to share stories about her with others.
When people acknowledge my mom and the impact of her absence, it lifts a weight off my shoulders. Simple words like “I’m here for you” or “I’m sorry this happened” are deeply comforting in a world that often overlooks grief.
Reflect
Grief isn’t something we “get over.” We learn to live with it and adapt to a new reality. My journey has shown me that life is hard, but I am resilient and can do hard things. Grieving my mom has meant reshaping my life around her absence, and counselling has helped me understand that moving at my own pace is okay.
When others reach out with genuine curiosity - asking, “how are you doing?” or reminding me that “whatever you’re feeling is okay” - it makes grief feel a little less isolating. Sometimes, knowing you can feel what you need to feel without judgment is all the support you need.
Connect
Connection is a lifeline in grief. For me, this has come from family, friends, my counsellor, and, my grief support group. Finding others who are walking similar paths and understand the weight of it all has been invaluable. Writing on this blog has also been a way to connect, giving me a space to process, find support, and support others.
Connection doesn’t have to be grand. It can be as simple as a “thinking of you” text, a walk together, or just being there in quiet company. Even small gestures mean so much, helping us feel seen in our grief.
On this National Grief and Bereavement Day, I encourage you to reach out to someone who might be grieving. Remember, reflect, connect. These words remind us that in grief, none of us have to be alone.
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