A Conversation Starter at the Christmas Dinner Table

My mom loved Ferrero Rocher chocolates. 

Ever since she died, I bought the big Costco-sized pack and have eaten them one by one, thinking about my mom with every bite. 

This Christmas, I decided to share them. At our family dinner with my niece, nephew, Dad, Dad’s girlfriend, brother, and my husband, I said, “I buy these chocolates every Christmas, and when I eat them, I think of Gramma. So when you eat one, I hope you think of Gramma too.”

My niece, who is 4.5 now but was only 11 months old when my mom died, asked, “why”. And I told her the truth… because I miss her very much.

And that was mostly the end of the conversation. We ate our chocolates and other desserts in silence. Part of me wished there was more. That my dad or brother would have said something too.

But it was okay. I’m glad I got to say her name at Christmas. I’m glad I let it be known, out loud, that I was thinking about Mom and missing her, and that I let everyone know it’s okay to think about her and miss her too.

If you’re grieving someone this Christmas, I’m curious to know if you have small things that open the door to talking about your person.

P.S. Thanks, Mom, for having the most expensive taste in chocolate!! (She also loves Toblerone, so I buy a Costco-sized bar of that too, but that one I didn’t share - hehe)