This past weekend was our annual “perogie day” - as we’ve been calling it. There was flour EVERYWHERE, so many dishes, a lot of laughter, and over 720 perogies made by the end of it.
This was our third year making perogies, and while the day has become a day filled with family and fun… I don’t want to lose sight on what the day actually is.
It’s the anniversary of the worst day of my life… the day my mom died.
Perogie day didn’t start out as a tradition just for the sake of it, and it wasn’t a random day that we decided to do it. It started as a way to do something meaningful on a day that felt so meaningless.
Because if there’s anything I don’t believe, it’s that “everything happens for a reason.” Losing my mom will never make sense. But I do believe you can make meaning from it. And for me, that’s what this day has become.
And there are so many reasons why making perogies feels right:
They’re my favourite food of all time.
They connect me to my Ukrainian roots, which feels especially important as I’ve struggled with my family lineage and legacy.
They give us a reason to be together - to laugh, tell stories, and say Mom’s name out loud.
But the reason that sits the deepest is that Mom always said we could make perogies together “one day,” but her “one days” ran out.
So this is me still living my “one days”. Learning the things she didn’t get to teach me. Choosing to keep going.
Perogie day is grief and joy. It’s loss and love. It’s remembering and continuing. And it’s intentional.
It matters to me that the people I love know who my mom is. That my nephew, my niece, and now my daughter grow up hearing about her, seeing her photos, and understand that she’s part of us. Mom’s “one days” may have run out, but her impact is still here with me - and with us.
I think Mom will be so proud of me. For finally making the perogies and also for finding a way to keep going after the darkness swallowed me up for a while there. And I’ll keep choosing to live out my “one days” - for both Mom and I.
How do you spend the anniversary of the day your person died? I’d love to hear in the comments. If you haven’t reached an anniversary date yet, however you choose to spend it is okay, whether that’s making perogies or laying in your bed all day with a tissue box.
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Flash back to the first perogie day here.
❤️
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