4 years. 48 months. 1,461 days. 35,064 hours. 2,103,840 minutes. Mom, that’s how long my heart has been beating since yours stopped. Some days 4 years feels SO long ago, and some days it feels like just yesterday. I can’t believe we are here again, the anniversary of the day you passed away.
Each year I’ve written a tribute for my mom on the day she passed away, in the spirit of “12 things”, one for each month she’s been gone. This year, I’d like to share my 12 most favourite things about Mom - things I will make sure Charlee knows about her Gramma, even though she’s not here to learn them from her herself.
1. Mom was the most positive person around. She had a way about her that allowed her to confidently tackle any situation with a positive spirit and her head held high.
2. Mom was often described as “calm as a cucumber.” Her life wasn’t easy, but you wouldn’t know it from the way she approached challenges and tough days: always with patience and a sense of calm.
3. Mom was amazing with children. She was warm, patient, and fun. She facilitated independence supportively and lovingly. When me and my brother were young, she had an in-home daycare and cared for 5 children under 3. What I’d do to ask her about those days now! Taking care of one is exhausting!
4. Mom was always up for an adventure. Her adventure might be a simple trip to the mall or to Winners or a more extravagant adventure like a roller coaster, paragliding, or scuba diving. Mom got her Scuba license in her 50s and she was so proud of herself - it was always on her bucket list.
5. Mom was selfless. As a mother, but also as a friend, a partner, a daughter (and mother-in-law and daughter-in-law). My mom took care of everyone around her, for years on end, and asked for so little in return. She earned respect from everyone just for being the caring, kind, loving person that she was.
6. Mom made people feel heard and safe. She had a way of listening without judgment, and she’d let you talk your ear off around and around in circles. She asked how you are and really cared to hear the answer.
7. Mom loved her family, and loved any and all family time together. She’d plan meals well in advance and she thought about everyone’s meal preferences. For example, she knew my husband loved her salmon, and she’d cook it whenever he was coming over.
8. Mom loved her wine, or any alcohol for that matter. This alone isn’t one of my favourite things about her, but some of my favourite memories include it. When we played euchre with my parents, Mom and I would always be partners. The deeper into the bottle of wine, the more and more confident Mom got at deciding trump, which led to a lot of laughter (and many times getting euchered). “It’s still early…!”
9. Mom found joy in little things. A sunny day, a beautiful sunset, pretty swans, a great sale, time at the houseboat, or just being together. She didn’t need anything extravagant to feel happy. She always noticed the good and held on to it.
10. Mom was my safe place. No matter what was going on in my life, she was the person I wanted to call. She could handle any version of me - whether I was angry, happy, sad, overwhelmed, nervous, worried, or any other emotion in the book.
11. Mom loved wholeheartedly and unconditionally. If she loved you, you knew it and felt it.
12. Mom was the best Mom and the best Gramma. I’m so grateful I got her as my mom, and I’m grateful I got to witness her be Gramma to my niece and nephew, because I can picture what she’d be like with my daughter. She was truly the best.
4 years without you, Mom. I carry you with me every single day… In who I am, in how I love, and now, in how I mother Charlee. I’ll make sure she knows you… I promise.
I miss you. I love you. Forever and always.
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