I really miss my Mom

Writing an entire blog about the death of my mom and my thoughts and emotions surrounding it probably implies that I really miss my mom. However, I haven't explicitly said it very often... so here I am, stating it plainly: I really miss my mom.

Here are a few instances from this week where thoughts of my mom filled my heart:

• I met with my young women grief group on Sunday and we painted pottery together. We talked about our moms, and the whole experience was comforting and healing. As I was leaving, guess who I wished I could tell about it... Mom. The irony, eh? I miss my mom.
  
• Playing hockey on the same team as my dad and my husband is always special, but this week, with my dad planning to "retire" soon, my brother, sister-in-law, and their kids came out to watch. Looking up at the stands made me smile, but also made me feel Mom's absence heavily, as I know she'd have loved to be there. I miss my mom.
  
• I am a hockey referee and I reffed a crazy game on Wednesday night. This stirred up memories of calling my mom and dad afterward to recount the chaos in games like these. I miss my mom.
• I had a long, sunny drive to the orthodontist, and I wished I could call my mom to chat about the beautiful weather, knowing it would have sparked memories of our shared anticipation for spring and houseboat season. It was around this time of year that Mom would start pulling out all the "up north" bins to begin packing for opening weekend in May. I miss my mom.
• I had a stranger ask about my tattoo for the 2nd time since getting it in January. I didn't get the tattoo with the intention of it being an opportunity to tell people about my awesome Mom, but I love that it has become one. I miss my mom.
  
• Hearing the song "Sweat" by Inner Circle reminded me of the many times my mom and I blasted it in the car together (random song, I know). I still turned it up loud, but singing along just didn't feel the same. I miss my mom.
  
• I had a really wild work week. One teammate resigned, another is on vacation, and I am swamped! I really miss Mom's guidance and support. She was always my go-to for venting, seeking advice, and just to process out loud with. I miss my mom.
  
• On "Pink Shirt/Kindness Day," I shared a quote from the movie Wonder on social media: "When given the choice between being right, and being kind, always choose kind." I found myself reminiscing about the day Mom and I saw it together, since it is an inspiring movie about a young boy with a facial difference. The star of the movie, Jacob Tremblay, reached out to SickKids hospital to meet kids/young adults with facial differences to learn about what living with a facial difference is like, and I was one of the young adults who met with him. My mom accompanied me on the "red carpet premiere" where Jacob joined us to watch it before it came out in theatres! I really wished I could reminisce with my mom about it. I miss my mom.
  

I think of my mom multiple times a day every single day, and I think and hope that this will continue forever. My mom means the world to me, and I really wish I could be making new memories with her, not just reliving old ones. I really miss my mom.