Almost everyone in my immediate family celebrates a birthday between March and July. My sister-in-law's birthday is in March, my niece and nephew are in April, my dad is in early May, I'm in late-May, my brother and Jeff are both in mid-June (shout-out to my brother whose birthday is today!), and my mother-in-law's birthday is in early July.
Since it is the season of birthdays for my family, I have been thinking a lot about the difference between presents (with the 'ts') and presence (with the 'ce'). If grieving my mom has taught me anything, it is that the most important gift of all is presence, not presents. Appreciating the important people in your life, and spending quality time together is priceless and irreplaceable.
When we lose someone who we love so much, it becomes crystal clear that material gifts, no matter how valuable, can't compare to the simple act of being there for one another. It’s the laughter shared over a meal, the heartfelt conversations, and the comfort of a warm hug that leave lasting impressions. These moments of connection are what we hold onto when a loved one is no longer physically with us.
In our society, it's easy to get caught up in the act of giving tangible gifts. We often equate love and appreciation with the things we can buy. However, the greatest gift we can offer our loved ones is our time and attention. Being truly present means spending time together and creating memories that will remain long after the wrapping paper is thrown away.
As I am nearing the end of 'birthday season', I am reminded to cherish the time spent with my family and friends. Each gathering is an opportunity to honour the legacy of those we’ve lost by being fully present with those still here. It’s in these moments that we find healing and strength, and it’s these memories that sustain us.
So - in memory of my mom, and in celebration of my family's birthdays, here's to embracing the true gift of presence.
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